More to Life

I've been saying I want to be a physician since I was 8 years old and at 15 I made it my mission to get into the medical program. My 17 year old self had confidence I would sell my soul to have(ok I probably would sell my soul.) I didn't have a back up plan if i didn't get into the program, I was just so sure it would work out for me. I was so sure, I didn't apply anywhere else. I didn't realize how competitive it was to get in until after I interviewed and met the "competition." The day my letter came, I remember calling my grandma while I cried. Somehow I choked out, "I got my letter." And her response was, "oh honey, I'm sorry." The tears were misleading. The following fall I started my journey that would prove to have some major bumps, but brought me here to this point in my life. The last stretch, the final year.
It is a startling reality that I have less than a year left of school and I am finally there. I guess the thing is that while I have been saying that I would be a doctor for the last 16 years and have been in medical school for the past 6 years, I never really imagined myself getting to this point. I suppose I thought it would never get here, but here I am. In less than 1 year, I will be introducing myself as Dr.
This last stretch comes with its own challenges and a very different kind of stress. Over the next few months, I will be collecting letters of recommendation, writing my personal statement, and deciding where to apply for residency. It feels like every decision carries a lot of weight in the outcome of "the match."
With the stress of everything that is to come and being on my core rotations, I quit making time to do the things I love to do(aside from medicine). Like sew, bake, hike. But I stepped into my craft room for the first time in months a couple of weekends ago. I had forgotten how great it felt to finish a project or how fun it was to pick out fabric. I've settled on making myself skirts and putting together quilts to donate to the local children's hospital.  I've also started walking trails during the evening, something that totally puts me at peace. The beautiful pond and all the newborn animals have a very relaxing effect.
Remembering there is more to life than school has been totally rejuvenating. So while I have tried to plan out how everything is going to work out this last year and attempted to be completely prepared, I've realized that I have given my education everything I had and now it is time to give up the reigns and see what life has planned for me. I'm sure it will be amazing. After all every time things didn't go as planned, life ended up being great. Sometimes life isn't about planning, it is abut living.

The Shoe, The Zoo, and The countdown(+small pleasures)

I have never had a "traditional" family. There is my mom's side and my dad's side. So last week I went to the zoo with my dad's family, where we lost my niece's shoe to the zebras. The good news is that the zoo keepers were able to retrieve it a couple days later and it looks almost perfect!

This week I went to the zoo with my mom's half of the family in celebration of mother's day. We had a blast! With 2 energetic children, we were able to see every exhibit and catch a couple of shows. The little ones loved the animals, but not the walking.

On Surgery
Last night I completed my 2nd of 5 thirty hour calls that I will complete over the next couple of months. Making it 14 days down and 47 days to go before I finish up with my final core rotation and get closer to being back in the ER. I have decided to make the best of my time while I'm on surgery, relearn some anatomy, and reenforce why I chose Emergency Medicine over Surgery(not a difficult task). As I was standing in my 6 hour surgery last night, I considered renaming this post "Surg-1, Katelyn-0" but instead I decide the point goes to me. While my feet were killing me about half way through, I made it and that is a victory. We resected cancer out of a man's colon and that is definitely a victory for everyone. And the case confirmed that I was never meant to be a surgeon, mostly because I don't have the attention span.
I will say overall on surgery, the days don't seem as long as I thought they would, but the mornings do seem just as early if not earlier than I imagined. If their days started a couple hours later than they do I think it would be much easier on my body.  So while I've decided to make the best of it, I am also going to countdown the days.

Small Pleasures
One of the pros of being so busy during your core year of medical school is you remember to appreciate the small pleasures in life. For me that includes listening to music during my drives, diet mountain dew, a full night of sleep, taking a walk, and catching up with old friends. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that kept me going through the last hour of last nights surgery was knowing I had a diet mountain dew waiting on me when I finished. It is the little things in life!

An Update and the future

It has been so long since I have posted anything on either of my blogs and I am going to blame that on pure exhaustion. When I first came to medical school I was sure that I would be a Neonatologist and 2 years in I decided I would go into OBGYN and specialize in infertility. It turns out that I was not meant to go into either of those fields. A couple years ago, after I realized that OBGYN was definitely not for me, I took some time to think about what I loved about medicine and what worked well with my fast pace personality and I decided on Emergency Medicine. Like so many things in my life, once I set my mind to going into Emergency Medicine I was sure that it would just work out that way and for probably the first time in my life I was right.
After lots of thinking and switching my rotation schedule, I started my Emergency med rotation at the beginning of February. I was completely nervous and for so many reasons. I was worried I wouldn't like it and then I wouldn't know what to go into, I was worried about making a good impression, and I was worried I would be no good at it. However, the month was pure bliss. I loved the excitement, I loved the fast pace, I loved the people attracted to the specialty, and most of all I loved how natural it felt for me. Aside from confirming that EM was the best for me, that month also opened up many doors. I met a number of extremely experienced and respected EM physicians who opened my eyes to EMS and toxicology. Both areas I am now interested in doing some further training in.
After Feb came my March/April rotation in OBGYN. I won't say much about it here other than as a subject I enjoyed it, as a rotation, well not my favorite.
And now I am 4 days into my Surgery rotation. I haven't had a real first day so far, but this week is sure to test my physical abilities. While I don't think it will be the most mentally challenging rotation, I do believe it will be the most physically challenging. Tomorrow is my first 30 hour call and I am sure it will be quite the experience. I am kind of excited about it to be honest. It is the only chance I am going to get to see traumas while I am on surgery which is my main interest. However, with the waking up at 3:30 in the morning and getting home close to 6 in the evening, I am sure to be MIA for another couple of months.

In the midst of all of my core rotations, I have also been working on preparing for my future. In just a few short months I will start interviewing for residency all around the country. I am getting very excited about moving forward in my career, but I'm also very nervous. As part of the process I am going to do a couple of "away" rotations in Emergency Rooms around the country. Basically all that means is I will spend a month working in an ER at a different medical school. I was offered a rotation in North Carolina and I am very excited for the upcoming opportunity. I will leave at the end of September and can't wait to share all of those experiences. I have also applied for a couple of other rotations and I am waiting to hear back on whether or not I will be offered a spot.

In other news, I housed my grandparents, sister, brother-in-law, and niece overnight this weekend. I have lived in the same home for the last couple of years and I have rarely had company and never company quite like this. We had pizza, played cards, and shared lots of stories during the evening and then got up the next morning and headed for the zoo. Mer turned 2 this year and she is just a little jabberer. Roughly every few minutes I would hear "come on aunt katie." I am definitely her favorite when I'm in the room and I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I provide the brownies and don't handle any of the discipline.
We had a wonderful day at the zoo and the zebra's gained a new toddler shoe. I'm not sure my sister was thrilled with that last bit, but I'm sure there is some zebra out there right now who is very thankful for their new stylish hoofware.
Having everyone over was something I definitely enjoyed. I have known for a long time that I want to build my own home one day and part of what I want is many furnished rooms to have guests stay comfortably. My sister and her family spent the night in the craft room and shockingly they all came down not covered in glitter. But one day I will be able to provide them with an actual room and a bed.
For now however all I can offer is a glitter covered room and an exhausted Aunt Katie.

Football

Last July I bought tickets to the Chiefs-Denver game for me and my dad for a fathers day/thanks for fixing my car gift. I had no idea at the time that I would be picking one of the best games of the year. We are by trade Chiefs fans and every year I start as a hard core fan and normally mid-season I don't watch as often because I get busy and it isn't as important when you are 0-12. But this year as I watched their season take place I got more and more excited for the upcoming game. Their first loss was to the Broncos in Denver two weeks before our big game which only increased the excitement for our rematch. We got parking in advance, bought custom cut steaks, and put together our drinks the night before in preparation. I also went and bought a new long sleeve thermal and leggings to go under my jersey and jeans to keep warm. When the morning finally came, my dad and I had breakfast with the rest of our family and headed out.
By headed out I mean we headed to Walmart to pick up those last minute things we forgot to get the night before. Like extra gloves, a chiefs hat for my dad, and A1 sauce. (Or and plates because I totally left them on the table when we left.) The ride down we talked about the injuries, how perfect the weather was going to be, and made predictions about the final score. My prediction was 24-21 Chiefs. I unfortunately was wrong, but more on that later.
We waited in a long line of cars to get into the stadium and when we gave our parking stub to the parking people it looked as though we would be parking pretty far away from the actual stadium, which we kind of expected. To our surprise they directed away from everyone else entering the far out parking lot and toward the stadium. Somehow the parking I had gotten us was parking in the lot right in front of the stadium. It was perfect. Everyone was tailgating and there was no way out once you got in there. Most everyone was Chiefs fans though you would see the occasional Broncos fan walk by and get booed by the crowd. The atmosphere was perfect and the sun was shining. We were sure it would be a great day.
Entering the stadium was a whole new experience. We had lower level seats in the end zone and by the time we got into our seats the players were already warming up. It was incredible! The stadium was overwhelming big and the players looked so close. We were high enough up to be able to see the plays develop, but far enough down to see them up close. They couldn't have been better seats.
We got super into the game. The things that happen in the stadium that you don't see on TV are awesome. The crowd is super loud, everyone is very into the game, and their couldn't be more loyal fans. We stood the whole time, screaming until our voice cracked. I remember the 100  yard return getting us the 3rd touchdown of the game. I was screaming and jumping up and down. I think the Broncos fan next to me thought I was a crazy person.
Everything just seemed so perfect. Right up to the point where we started losing. But then we started to make a come back. I remember how disappointed I felt when we didn't get that last touchdown. But overall it was a almost perfect day. Sometimes luck is on your side.

On Family Medicine

Shockingly the end of my time on Family Medicine has quickly arrived. What I was sure would be a relaxing, slow month was nothing of the sort. As I stood in my grandparent's guest room Tuesday night packing up my stuff, we discussed how we couldn't believe it had already come to an end. Somehow I managed to accumulate an excessive amount of stuff in their bedroom. Come to think about it, I didn't clean out the dresser or closet. I also made a trip to walmart right before bed Tuesday when I realized I had left my toothbrush and toothpaste sitting in their bathroom. Spending the month with them was very different from my normal daily life. Coming home to a house with people who are eager to hear about your day and have dinner with you is the complete opposite of me normally coming home to a dark, quiet house. Time just goes by so fast when you are enjoying it.
I had the opportunity to work with two different physicians this month who loved what they did and made Family Medicine look awesome. Actually I enjoyed Sports Medicine so much that if ER doesn't work out for me, I think I will do Sports Medicine instead. I had the opportunity to hear afib and an aortic murmur in the same day and seeing the amount of patients I was able to see allowed me quickly show progress. I really enjoyed the rotation and I enjoyed the opportunity to talk with physicians about their life and career path. It is nice to know I am not the only female doctor-to-be who is interested in working on their career before rushing off to get married and have a family(not that there is anything wrong with getting married and having a family first). And the other doctor has more debt than me! It is easy to forget when you are working with people who evaluate you that they are also human with their own stories.  Life is different away from academic medicine and I greatly enjoyed it.
I could use another month doing the same kind of thing there and I really believe it would be extremely beneficial. However, the next rotation calls and I will be moving on to inpatient internal medicine come Monday. I have already set up my study schedule and have made my goals for my upcoming rotation. I have a feeling it is going to go just as fast as the rest of my rotations this year. Hopefully I finish getting Christmas ready before Dec 25th arrives.

Life in the Fast Lane

I was sure that this month I would have tons of time to get done everything I wanted to get done. But atlas it is the end of November and I hardly got anything done at all. I did see a dentist so I did accomplish one thing on my list. But I really thought I would finish my Christmas decor I'm making, make my sister's Christmas gift, get the house cleaned, catch up with all my old friends at home, see all of my family at home, and get healthy. Unfortunately it didn't really work out the way I planned. I am going to have to put off the gift I am making my sister for next year, I'm going to have to spend tons of time trying to get my house put together to enjoy it a couple of days before Christmas, and I am going to miss out on seeing a lot of people this month. I have successfully tried to get a little healthier. I'm still sore from my work out on Wednesday so I must be doing something right. Life is just always busy when you live it in the fast lane. Now I have an upcoming test and have to start getting busy getting done all the things for this rotation I was supposed to be doing all month. I will say that it has been overall an enjoyable month and I have learned a ton! My first couple of weeks I worked with a physician who does a lot of sports medicine and acute care. This last week I have worked with a physician who takes care of patients that are more chronic and more like the patients I am used to in my normal weekly clinics. I enjoyed the acute care a lot more, but I have still learned a lot of new information taking care of chronic patients in an insured population. The medications, tests, and options available for those with insurance are much different than those without. Since I don't have to deal with the documentation part of the medical world, I am able to see so many more patients and learn so much more by using my time to actually work with patients instead of spending hours working on documentation. After this week I will be switching over to Internal Medicine with my unit and I am looking forward to continuing on. This week with be another busy one with a couple Thanksgivings, the big football game, tests, and decorating. I'll have lots of updates coming the first week of December. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

"Rural" Family Medicine

One of my required rotations is to do a month in "rural" family medicine in Missouri. I am doing my rotation in my hometown which I can't really consider rural with 70,000 people, but none-the-less I am really enjoying it. I have moved in to my grandparent's guest room for the month and have actually been able to be part of my family.  I go watch the little ones dance 2 times a week, go to the gym with my mother, and take care of all of those things I keep putting off like the dentist. Several times a week (when I have the time) I turn my grandparent's living room into my craft room and have watched more night time TV in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 5 years. (I really kind of like Elementary.) Surprisingly, I feel even busier now that I am home then I did when my hours at the hospital were twice what I am putting in now. I thought I would be swimming in time, but atlas that is never the case.
Not to say that I haven't been spoiled, because I definitely have. The physician I have worked with for the last couple weeks starts at 9 in the morning, takes an hour lunch, and then finishes no later than 5 in the evening. Not to mention his half day on Thursdays.  Even with the shorter days and later mornings, I still have learned a great deal in the last couple weeks. I see more patient and see more of a variety in a day than I would in my normal adult clinic in a month. I have found one of my week spots, orthopedics. He sees so many sports medicine type patients and not only have I learned how to decide on imaging but there is a whole different world of medicines out there for people who have insurance.
Everything about this clinic makes me enjoy it. I have never found family medicine very appealing, but he makes family medicine look very attractive. Let's start with the general atmosphere. His whole staff gets along so well, works together perfectly, and share laughs constantly. Everyone is so laid back and interactive with each other and they were all so welcoming when I joined the team. And when I say team, I mean they are truly an amazing team. Each person has a role in the patient's care and it makes it so efficient. Patients don't wait very long to be seen and then are quickly on their way. There is no waiting around for hours. One of the other things I have really enjoyed is that the doctor treats his nurses and his students like his equals. He talks about his life and listens to our stories. We spent a half hour of our down time this week just talking about the differences in how be got where we are. We talked about how he came to decide on family medicine and his complete honesty was so refreshing. Not to mention it was nice to meet someone who has more debt than I do and is doing just fine. He is a picture of what I hope to accomplish one day. A physician who is able to take care of their patients appropriately, work as a team and have a good relationship with their nurses and techs, and still be able to go home to a family they are dedicated to at night.
So onward with what I have actually seen in the last couple of weeks. I saw the first patient I knew this week. I was completely awkward because it was a first for me. She was so much more relaxed about it than I was. Silly me.  Both me and the doctor I worked with this week had a couple, "I have no idea" moments this week. I had one lady come in with tingling in her hands and feet, but no diabetes and had already been tested for vitamin deficiencies. We are sending her on, but keeping track of her to see what rheum has to say. I realized seeing several patients that I remember a lot from boards that I didn't realized I still remembered. I saw several really adorable little ones. I must say the pen light I bought from the camping section at Walmart is the best investment I have made when it comes to little ones. They will let you do anything while they are shining it on the wall. I met my first autistic child. Broken bones, concussions, broken bones, concussions. Yep I'm an expert. Okay maybe not an expert, but I am much better than I was before. And then I got a lot of experience with changing meds on the chronic conditions that are common. And if you add on acute illnesses, allergies, infections, well checks, depression, ADHD, pain, memory difficulties, and strange bumps you pretty much have my 2 weeks. Did I mention I got to see a lot?
Come Monday I switch to a different physician and have to start getting up at a normal time again. I am hopeful it is as useful as the last couple weeks.

On and just 37 days and a few hours to Christmas. I am very behind!