Life never works out quite the way we plan it and good intentions don't always turn into results. I always hoped to keep this going while in residency, so imagine my surprise when I saw my last post was 8 months ago! Where has the time gone?!? I knew some time had passed, but 8 months?
So came the next dilemma, it was time to start a new post after 8 months. Where did I start? Do I talk about the past, the recent past, the now, the future? I'm in such a weird transition place in my life that nothing seems very clear cut right now. So how about a little bit of all of the above?
The Past
For 6 weeks I lived in complete denial. Denial that everything in my life was about the be turned upside down and I was going to be pushed into the New Chapter of my life. Little Rock had become my home and I had a big family there. I made some of the best friends you could have in life during my 3 years. It was both the best and worst years of my life all at the same time. But even during the worst days, I had this amazing group who supported me even through my emotional moments.
So needless to say, I was a little hesitant about accepting that this was all about the change. I was moving to a city where I didn't have any friends and was starting all over. My grandpa keeps telling me that it isn't starting over, but a continuation. I think he may be crazy. Yes, yes life is continuing, but it was starting all over without this new family I had come to rely on.
We made the most of it. We spent those 6 weeks hanging out every chance we got. Seeing everyone we could. Bordering on driving each other crazy. Several of us are extroverted introverts and alone time is so necessary, but with the countdown ticking loudly we saw each other every second we could.
I spent a great deal of that time living with Shae after the break up. Sometimes the universe works in weird ways and I think the universe was pushing me to spend the time I had left where I needed to with one of my best friends. When I'm writing posts where I'm trying to catch up I never know the stories to tell, because I'm trying to cover so much. There are so many great stories from those last few weeks, but mostly it was a group of people laughing, drinking, and trying to fit in everything we could.
As for the break up? Lots of lessons learned.
When the goodbyes finally came, we all agreed it wasn't really goodbye and I set up a reminder in my calendar to text the crew every Sunday.
The Now
For 2 weeks, I have been trying to catch up on 3 years of time with my family. Actually making it to baby showers and graduation parties. Remembering where I came from. Most importantly being my favorite thing, Aunt Katie.
My sister and I started a new monthly tradition to help me accomplish one of my new goals(more on that in a moment.) They will be known hence forth as Foodie Nights. We are going to try our hand at new dishes and push our cooking skills into new arenas. Last week we had our first Foodie Night and made Chicken with a Veloute garlic and herb sauce, homemade mac and cheese, and haricot verts. It was delicious! I can't wait to for the next one.
This week has been all about getting life into order. In 3 days, I am boarding a plane for my first trip to Europe! I am doing a solo adventure for 2 weeks before I return to move into my new apartment in KC. I'm very excited and nervous about the upcoming couple of weeks, but certain they are going to be wonderful.
"As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life — and travel — leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks — on your body or on your heart — are beautiful." -Anthony Bourdain
This vacation is all about adventure and exploring. No big to-do lists. No stress to see as much as I possibly can. Despite being my firsts time to Europe, this trip isn't about that. Instead I want to get lost in the culture, meet new people, slow down, give myself permission to do what I want, and most importantly not stress. I have a couple of things on the calendar. The kind of things you need tickets for, but otherwise I have a list of recommendations, books packed to read at cafes, and a plan to disconnect from my phone. After 10 years of working every second to get to the finish line, I'm teaching myself to smell the roses.
The Future
So what does a 20-something girl(woman? badass?) do with her time after spending 10 years chasing the one big dream? The day before I graduated from residency, that was my sister's big question. What are you looking forward to? What are you going to do with your time? Uhhh, excuse me I'm over here swimming through denial. Lalalalalala.
I have a great memory which is both awesome and sometimes terrible. So after my brain heard the, what are you going to do with life now question it wouldn't forget it. So what am I going to do?
- Learn to make yummy sauces. I have such a love for the fancy, delicious sauces that come on chicken and fish at restaurants and I want to know how to make them or how to create them
- Grow a herb/spice garden. This goes along with the goal above. Fresh ingredients=delicious food
- Work on keeping my blog up to date and start writing again
- Learn to kayak and brush up on my swimming skills
- Travel. All the travel
- Train to hike the Alps next summer/fall
- Read more and figure out what I like to read now
- Become a yogi
- Learn to slow down
- Be that awesome, encouraging Aunt who makes it to almost everything even if it is just a couple minutes late.
No worries brain. I got us covered. Going to stay busy for sure!
